Go Hard or Go Home winners: ‘Being emotionally vulnerable doesn’t make you weak’

At the age of 19, Dylan Spaull discovered he had testicular cancer. He entered Go Hard or Go Home to improve his health after going to remission – and to try to deal with his anxiety over whether his cancer would return.

On the BBC Three show, he bonded with Ashley Cain, the former footballer turned fitness guru, who had lost his own daughter Azaylia to leukaemia in 2021.

Dylan chose Ashley as his “Warrior,” the elite athlete who would train and compete alongside him in the show’s gruelling physical challenges that saw them swimming in choppy waters, fighting vertigo on high cliffs and plunging into deep caves. After 10 weeks of hard work, the pair have been named the show's first winners, with Dylan being named champion above fellow contestants Melita Sanders and Seb Fitzharris.

Ashley Cain: ‘Losing my daughter made me realise that life wasn’t fair’

Ashley Cain joined Go Hard or Go Home hoping that he could help someone change their life through fitness. But Ashley also found purpose of his own.

“I learned that I am worthy,” he tells BBC Three. “I am needed on this earth to help people.”

Since losing Azaylia, Ashley has taken part in endurance challenges to fundraise for the foundation he set up in her name. In April 2022, he completed a 100-mile run to mark the first anniversary of her death. That August, he ran five marathons in five capital cities in five days.

The death of his daughter gave him a new perspective: “I understood that life wasn’t fair. A lot of people in this world wonder, ‘Why me?’

“But life doesn’t care about what’s happened to you. You have to define your own future. I needed to push forward to achieve the things I want to achieve as a result of my beautiful little girl.”

From this experience, he also learned about the importance of being emotionally open as a man. “It takes one person to open up to make everybody else feel comfortable around him.

“Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak. Nobody can say I’m weak. By opening up, you’re acknowledging your problems, you’re accepting them, and only from there can you move on.”

On Go Hard or Go Home, Dylan opened up to Ashley over their shared experience with cancer. “I think men find it a lot harder to talk about than women,” Ashley says, “but being so open and transparent has taught me that a lot of men do want to talk.”

Many men have reached out to Ashley since he shared his experience, but one time in particular stayed with him. “I was in a Foot Locker, and I was very upset and emotional. And then one of the employees came up to me and said, ‘Can I give you a hug?’

“Three other male employees came over, and they were all in tears. We all had a talk about each other’s problems. I walked away feeling uplifted and empowered.”

Go Hard or Go Home winner Dylan Spaull: ‘Cancer doesn’t define me’

Uplifted and empowered are definitely things Dylan Spaull left Go Hard or Go Home feeling.

The confidence he found since filming the show is a world away from the person he was when the 23-year-old signed up.

His cancer led to him having to have one of his testicles removed. After this operation, he had to have further chemotherapy that led to him feeling weak and fatigued by everyday tasks.

Despite being in remission for cancer for two years, his fear of his cancer returning never went away. He describes the moment he decided to apply for the show: “I remember it vividly. I was at work when a lump came up. I had a complete mental breakdown thinking my cancer had returned.

“I had to leave work, and I didn’t leave the house for three days. I realised I couldn’t live like that forever.”

Since taking control of his fitness on Go Hard or Go Home, that anxiety is a thing of the past. “Since then, I’ve had lumps and bumps, and I just laugh them off. I’m an animal now, not just this fragile human.”

Asked how his life has changed since filming, he says “there’s not one lesson that I haven’t brought back home. Fitness is my life now.

“Ash taught me that I can only control one thing, and that’s me moving my body. Everything in my life is a by-product of me getting active. My mental health, my diet, my relationships and all aspects of my life are better.”

“He’s got abs now as well!” Ashley adds.

One of the most emotional situations they shared during Go Hard or Go Home was the moment Dylan gave Ashley his cancer survivor badge - which Dylan calls his “trophy” - as a way of saying thank you for training him.

For Dylan, this was a turning point. “My trophy now,” he says, “is that cancer doesn’t define me, and I couldn’t say that before I met Ash. I wanted him to know that this was my trophy, but our relationship and that hard work that I’ve put in is my trophy now.”

If you, or someone you know, have been affected by cancer, you can find help via the BBC Action Line.

Go Hard or Go Home is streaming in full now on BBC iPlayer.