Usain calling from Jamaica: 11 tweets that sum up the New Year round of games

1. Bolt out of the blue

“Usain - calling from Jamaica.”

Hopefully this is just the start of global superstar sportspeople calling into football phone-ins. Next up, Novak Djokovic is asked to turn his car radio down on 6-0-6 as he rings in to say that the referee in the Stoke-Watford game is the worst he’s ever seen and he’s been a season ticket holder for 25 years and can they give a shout-out to his brother Marko because it’s his birthday today.

2. Swansea setting the bar low

Take That, indeed.

3. Celebrity fan of the week pt 2

No stranger to nailing his colours to the Liverpool mast, of course, but this time Samuel was showing off some of his mid-range Christmas presents.

4. Lies, damn lies and statistics

Simon Mignolet calmly lobbing the ball over Sergio Aguero’s head, because 2016 wasn’t quite done with us yet.

5. Punditry claims another scalp

That's called rubbing salt into the wound, Steve.

6. A tweet 30 months in the making

Speaking of salt + wounds, here’s an exquisite piece of not letting it go from Germany’s Toni Kroos. Joke’s on him though, actually, because it was still only 9pm in Rio. Which gave (Brazilian) Ronaldo enough time to reply.

1-1 in the World Cup of good humoured, nostalgic pettiness.

7. The last word

Nope, it's still weird.

8. Hats off

A simple “Happy New Year to all the fans - thanks for your support!!!! [thumbs-up emoji]” would have sufficed, Memphis.

9. Ex-player three-piece suit of the week

Olive corduroy with a bright pink lining? Tony Adams goes to extreme lengths to soften the impact of that tie.

10. Festive schedule starts to take its toll on fans

The Crystal Palace support take what they can get at the Emirates. Why can’t they score a complete fluke like...

11. Olivier's twist

Olivier Giroud, scoring “one of the best” goals a rather busy 23-year-old “has ever seen”. There can be no higher accolade.