Gundogan confirms he's still alive: 11 tweets that sum up the weekend's football

Chelsea sensibly deciding not to retaliate here.

2) Palace don’t have the foggiest what’s going on

Alan Pardew takes some liberties by signing Chelsea’s goalscorer mid-game and then taking him off. Worth a try.

3) Pass the sprouts

Vardy to host the festivities, presumably, with Kante racing round to clean up afterwards as Costa and Aguero launch into a 50/50 cracker-pull.

4) Mark Noble: King of East London

Two questions here:

1) Does that mean Mark Noble can drive his cattle through Westfield Stratford from now on?

2) Why is he being presented with his medal by his future self?

5) Stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done

Ryan Shawcross here, looking like he’s been caught running in the corridors at school. He’s let the school down, he’s let himself down, etc.

6) Retro Gamer of the Week

Just one question, Atalanta’s Papu Gomez: WHY?

7) The wood works

The anthropomorphism of goalposts continues.

Some teams are 'denied' by the woodwork, while it 'comes to the rescue' of others. West Ham took it one unacceptable step further.

8) Punditry of the week

From not-a-penalty to penalty in 25 words - thanks Tim!

9) Picture perfect

Zlatan delivers again.

10) Man City go all out for Gundogan

Heartwarming show of support? Excessive attempt at a #nicetouch?

And then the man himself confirmed that, indeed, he was not dead:

11) Disappearing act

Poor old Mesut Ozil - always just one Arsenal defeat away from a Twitter pile-on.